The OOW Renter's Guide

The OOW Renter's Guide

Finding An Apartment

Most apartment searches begin in the classified section of the local paper. Reading ads is easy, once you know how. Here are some commonly used abbreviations:

Some listings look appealing, but be warned: clever advertisers may disguise a property's faults as sellings points. Watch out for lines like these:

Moving Day

On the day you move in to your apartment, inspect the property with your landlord. Make a list of any damage (nails in walls, dirty carpet, etc.) you find. Both you and your landlord should agree on and sign this list so that when you move out, there will be no disputes over whether it was you or the previous tenant who etched lewd drawings into the kitchen cupboards. You are responsible for any damage you do to the apartment beyond normal wear and tear. You and your landlord's idea of "normal wear and tear" may be quite different, though. Here is a handy guide to sort it out.
Normal Wear and Tear
mildly dirty or worn carpet
small holes in wall from hanging posters, etc.
minor paint chipping
refrigerator light bulb burned out
cracks in walls due to settling
slow draining sink
water damage from roof leak
dusty curtains or blinds
small amount of mildew in bathtub or shower
dripping faucet
Not normal
blood stains
painted window to achieve classic "stained glass" look
fist through wall
freezer turned in to airconditioner, McGyver-style
removing walls to create "open layout"
connected blender, plumbing to offer slurpees-on-tap
new open-air skylights
curtain rods + creativity = home gym!
bathtub aquarium
indoor "pool"

Keeping It Clean

How often you clean you apartment is a function of your personal comfort level and the degree to which your landlord is a fascist clean-freak who believes dusty moldings are the cause of disease outbreaks, death and, ultimately, eternal toil in the dustiest place of all, Hell. So, scrub accordingly. Here are the tools you will need:

Kneepads optional.

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