Volume 4, Number 1, Page 5

The OUMMCBNOM Mission Statement Contest: Round Two

	As those of you who read your OUMMCBNOM regularly know, progress in the
OUMMCBNOM Mission Statement Contest has been halted for the past few month as
a three-way-tie has remained unbroken.  So, we have decided that we must
revitalize this contest by creating a second round of competition.
	Only the best mission statements have been allowed to enter round two.  The
three tied entries, one Printing Office Staff's Choice entry, and one
randomly chosen entry will be the selection from which you can pick your
favorite.  However, we will not tell you which entry is which, as we would
not want this to effect your choice.  All missions will be beginning this
round on equal footing.  Please turn in your mission statement ballot
(located on the last page of this OUMMCBNOM) to an OUMMCBNOM staff member by
November 25.  We really mean it this time!  Now, let's meet the contestants.

Mission Code Letter "A"
 Outrageous, and

 and to

 Issues of our day
 Serious even
 If they are
 Only the
 Natural nonsense of our foolish world."

Mission Code Letter "B"
"Our mission is to increase the Jell-o-like substance in our subscribers'
heads and yet help them remain living, breathing, non-functioning
microorganisms.  In addition we would like to suck the Jell-o-like substance
out with a handheld vacuum and eat it at teatime with Prudence & Camilla, in
effect leaving the subscribers as nonthinking..."

Mission Code Letter "C"
"If we write it, you will read."

Mission Code Letter "D"
"The mission or goal of the OUMMCBNOM is to provide a newsletter that
reflects the ideas and minds of its readers.  The purpose of the OUMMCBNOM is
to: a) entertain, b) inform in a manner suited to its readers, c) provide a
place where odd minds can express themselves, and d) become and emissary for
social change."*

*What the Body Shop hopes to be.

Mission Code Letter "E"
"Our mission is to keep a few psychotic young girls busy so they don't do
things even stranger than writing this newsletter."

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