If the football season is an ocean, and each team a traversing ocean liner, then, as we begin Week 7, our ships are approaching a no-man's land with no men, and no land, to be found. Far from the familiar coast of Week 1, they have already weathered injuries; their will has been tested, but the journey is far from over. It will take 10 more weeks to arrive at the yearned-for coast of Playoffs, a rocky and treacherous land, but one full of rich fruits and treasures.
What gives our athelete sailors the strength to continue the journey? Some say perseverence. Some say luck. We say: shiny pants. As our teams suit up for the 7th time, those with glitter on their pants will certainly have a sparkle in their step, a twinkle in their tackle, that their dully-outfitted competitors lack. Could the secret to Week 7 success really be so simple? We think so. With this in mind, we proudly present Suburban Underground's Week 7 Football Picks: The Shiny Pants Edition.
|Dallas (4-2) at Seattle (4-2)
Two of the league's most shiny-pantsed teams meet this week as the slate-blue Seahawks take on the silver-legged Dallas Cowboys. To win, Dallas' defense will have to shut down Seattle running back Shaun Alexander, who has already logged 12 rushing touchdowns this season and whose leggings shimmer with the Seahawks' signature vaporous hue. But Dallas' silver leggings won't give the Cowboys' running game quite the luster it needs to beat the Seahawks.
SU Pick: Seattle
|Pittsburgh (3-2) at Cincinnati (5-1)
After missing last week's overtime heart-breaker with a bruised and hyperextended knee, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is back to take on AFC North leaders the Cincinnati Bengals. If orange is the new black, the Bengals have all their bases covered in their home leggings, black breeches set off with an orange tiger-stripe and just enough sheen to take them to victory over the yellow-legged Steelers.
|Denver (5-1) at N.Y. Giants (3-2)
The Giants will have the home pants advantage this week as they battle the Denver Broncos; despite their ho-hum gray, these pants have delivered Giants quarterback Eli Manning a four-game winning streak at home. Chagrined after an embarrassing turn in the local gossip pages, Denver quarterback Jake Plummer will try to reprise the picture-perfect performances that have lead his team to a 5-1 record this season. If Denver running backs Tatum Bell and Mike Anderson can't finish the job, the hint of glint in the Broncos' white trousers should be enough to dazzle the Giants out of the endzone.
SU Pick: Denver
|Detroit (2-3) at Cleveland (2-3)
The Lions' defense did its best to cover for quarterback Joey Harrington's bungled performance last week, returning two interceptions for touchdowns, but without a capable offense, the Lions could be looking at fourth loss this week. But the Lions have shiny pants on their side; against the Browns, who are recovering from a sloppy loss to Baltimore and whose offense has been just as stunted as Detroit's, the silver leggings could be a real difference-maker.
SU Pick: Detroit